When cost of living takes a toll on social life

Habiba, a mother of two school-going daughters, used to accompany her children to school in the morning. She would wait in front of the school until their classes ended, hanging out with other mothers who had become her friends. They snacked from the food stalls at the school gate, and occasionally, they took turns bringing food from home. 

However, this routine has changed lately.  

"You need to keep at least Tk200 in hand every day to be able to pay for the food we shared," she said. But with increasing inflation, this has become difficult for Habiba, a homemaker whose husband's monthly salary comes to around Tk45,000.

"I come from a small village where I had many friends. But here in Dhaka, I am completely alone. Mothers of other children in the school were the only people with whom I could have some spontaneous adda every day. But that window has shut down now," shared Habiba. 

She is nowadays investing her free time at home trying to learn how to stitch. Once she becomes good at it, she plans to go to school with her children again, because the fellow mothers could potentially be her primary customers. Thus she will not only get her social life back, but will also be able to contribute some money to their household expenses. 

And this seems to be the story for thousands of others amid rising inflation. As the rising cost of living tightens its grip, people are cutting back on socialising to cope with the financial strain. 

Rising food prices have made it increasingly difficult for individuals to dine out with friends and family as frequently as they used to. In addition, the pressure of mounting expenses has led some to resort to working overtime or taking on side gigs, further diminishing their opportunities for social engagement. 

The Business Standard spoke to some people who shared their experience of how surging living costs are impacting their ability to spend quality time with loved ones and affecting their overall well-being.

'I don't want to come across as weak in front of my juniors'

One of the most prized things for Mizan (not his real name) in his life at Dhaka University is the camaraderie he shared with his juniors at his department and dormitory. Together, they enjoyed many sleepless nights, strolling through the campus and its adjacent areas, including Old Dhaka. 

However, life has taken a different turn since he completed his Masters last year. He now resides in a shared space in Azimpur, dedicating his entire day to studying at the Dhaka University central library as he prepares for government job exams. Despite being in close proximity to his former department and dormitory, he seldom visits his junior friends nowadays.

"It's not like I no longer care for them. I still hold them dear to my heart," clarified Mizan. But the thing is, there is this unwritten rule in varsity life that seniors will always treat their juniors. But Mizan is now unemployed and can't take much money from his family amid the economic climate; distancing himself from everyone seems to be the only option for him. 

"I don't even go to TSC for a cup of tea, fearing I might run into one of my juniors. Don't get me wrong, I know there's no shame in being unable to give them treats like before. But the thing is, they always looked up to me as an inspiration. Now I don't want to come across as a financially vulnerable person before them," said Mizan, pledging to bag a suitable job as soon as possible and rekindle his brotherly relations. 

'The easy option is not to go'

A policeman who wishes to remain anonymous, had been working in Dhaka for several years before he was recently transferred to Gazipur. He chose to maintain his residence in Dhaka's Uttara area, but kept it a secret from friends and acquaintances to avoid social invitations. 

Photo: Noor-A-Alam

He candidly acknowledged, "the cost of socialising has become excessively high. The easy option is not to go." 

The Additional SP-ranked official reflected on how he used to attend numerous social gatherings but now claims to reside in Gazipur to reduce the frequency of invitations. "I also pretend to be busy to excuse myself from attending parties and social events." 

"It typically costs me around 10-15k per month at the very least. Moreover, people expect some "respectable" gift from a policeman coming to a social occasion."

'Attending wedding ceremonies comes at a price'

Mostofa Kamal, currently working in a research organisation, doesn't remember the last time he met most of his relatives or friends in a single gathering, as attending social events has become a thing of the past. 

Attending weddings could be a good place to come across a large number of relatives or friends, but these occasions come with the unspoken expectation of gifts, following cultural norms.

Only last month, Kamal had an invitation to attend the wedding ceremony of one of his school friends. He was really looking forward to attending the ceremony, as it would allow him to meet some friends he hadn't met in ages. But he had to cancel the plan at the last minute, reasoning that he was busy. 

But the real reason was, he was at a loss as to what he should bring to the wedding as a gift. It was near the end of the month and his wallet was running empty, leaving him unable to cover even his basic expenses for the remaining days, let alone purchase an expensive gift or provide a "respectable" amount as a cash gift.

In the end he decided it was better not to go anywhere at all. "I find funerals more preferable to social gatherings because at funerals you don't have to arrive with gifts," Kamal said with crude humour. 

'Side hustle eats up time to socialise' 

Ashim Faiaz became responsible for supporting his family following his father's passing a few years ago. In addition to his regular job as a graphic designer at a private company, he has also taken on side hustles recently to supplement his income, due to the increasing prices of daily necessities. 

Ashim now rarely finds any free time to spend with his family or friends. The other weekend, he was working on a project, and his mother wanted to go out for a walk and have some street food. 

When he declined, his mother felt disheartened. "You have been busy all week and now you have to work even on the weekends?" she said.

"Last week, my brother wanted to go to the movies with me, but I couldn't make it. Nowadays, as I struggle with rising prices and side hustle is becoming a necessity – I have little time to socialise," he said. 

"Say goodbye to hanging out in upscale restaurants, going on vacations"

Sujon Ahmed (pseudonym), a theatre actor, said he no longer hangs out with his friends as  frequently as he used to. 

"The cost of eating out is now beyond my budget. On hot days, when we do get together, everyone usually picks an air-conditioned restaurant, which often comes with inflated prices," said Sujon.

Photo: Noor-A-Alam

In addition, Sujon and his group of friends used to go on tours multiple times a year. However, this year he did not join any tour. 

"This year, our tour group has significantly shrunk, with many members opting out due to budget constraints. The relentless inflation has driven up the cost of every aspect of tours - from transportation and accommodation, to food and recreational activities," he shared.