I am angry: An ode to Audre Lorde

Women in Bangladesh show intersectional solidarity by protesting against rape in India. Photo: TBS

"… years of fury surge upward like a wall 

and I do not hear it 

clatter to the pavement at my feet.

Gears of ancient nightmare churn 

swift in familiar dread and silence

 but this time I am awake, released 

I smile. Now. This time is my turn…"

-A woman in rage, Audre Lorde 

I remember distinctly, years ago, being cat-called amidst city hubbub. I paused and looked back, and there he was, smiling and staring as if he knew how helpless I was. As if he knew I could not do much about it. A feeling of rage shivered down my spine.

I remember how angry I felt when a senior executive interrupted me during a meeting, saying, "I'll take it from here." I felt infuriated when I saw in a UNICEF awareness post about the dreadful impacts of child marriage where some men commented boastfully that child marriage is the solution to stop child abuse and rape! 

Every other day the horrifying news of rape of women enrage me, every time, I feel something shattering inside. At times, it feels like this rage will engulf me, will submerge us, women. Often, friends and well-wishers suggest not to get too invested, not to get inundated in this feeling, but I decided to stay firm in my anger at angels of exclusion, privilege, male gaze and even silence. In doing so, I believe in the transformative power of 'collective anger' that we all have inside us, that does not come from guilt or defensiveness, but which leads to growth, solidarity and movement building. 

I'm not free, I'm not free until Third World women are free, until poor women, women in every nook and cranny of this world are free.

Audre Lorde

Among various types and degrees of anger a person can have upon experiencing or witnessing injustice, I opt for 'Lordean rage,' which is not destructive, not used to create a wedge between people and communities, rather it binds people; it is virtuous and productive. The famous Black American philosopher and revolutionary Audre Lorde discussed 'the case of rage' while tackling racism and its far-reaching impacts, especially on women. 

When we talk about anger as a metamorphic emotion, we also need to remember we are drawing a distinctive line between this and 'narcissistic rage.' This is a rage where you are only angry that you were the victim of injustice ('why me' phenomenon), not that anybody else is. This anger is self-centric. 

Unlike narcissistic rage, Lordean rage is inclusive because it's not only concerned about how you can be a victim of injustice, it's also concerned about how anyone could be a victim of injustice. As a Black feminist, Audre Lorde, despite being educated and heard, elaborated on this emotion, 

"I'm not free, I'm not free until Third World women are free, until poor women, women in every nook and cranny of this world are free." This rage helps us to see the intersectionality of oppression and discrimination, it makes us realise how privileged we are when some of our sisters are dwelling in an invisible life. 

Often, people, philosophers and alike, will emphasise on being rational to bring change to the system, and anything that goes against rationality will be argued against. But having anger does not mean acting from an irrational point. It's an emotion that can manifest in very different ways, that can have very different intensities, that looks quite different in certain contexts. 

To understand the veracity of such potential anger, many of us also need to take the genesis of this emotion into consideration. We feel angry because we feel betrayed, we loathe the system which couldn't protect us. Have we ever thought of the fact that we are expecting solutions to such intense disparity (due to race, class, gender, ethnicity, sexuality etc.) from the same system which created and institutionalised such divisions in the first place? 

Audre Lorde claims, "For the master's tool will never dismantle the master's house. They may allow us temporarily to beat him at his own game, but they will never enable us to bring about genuine change. And this fact is only threatening to those women who still define the master's house as their only source of support." 

A system cannot be too bothered about differences, how different factors affect different people (i.e. women), how the struggle of an indigenous woman is different from that of a city woman. While we will (and should) find commonality in our struggles, the variance of degree, the differences and intersectional violence are highly needed to be considered. Otherwise we will fail each other, we will weaken the movement.  

We can unite the devastation, the feeling of betrayal and agony, only when we direct our rage to uplift each other, to understand we cannot move forward alone. Unless we move together, we won't be free. No one is free unless we are all free. This is the tie that binds us together, where we are the problem and the solution at the same time. When you realise your anger is just not yours, you will feel empowered and liberated instead of drowning in frustration. 

Echoing Lorde, I urge my fellow sisters: If you are angry- write, sing, paint, protest! Do not let the anger absorb you, let it transform you, let it ignite you to do better for the community. Understand and call out your privilege, use it to uplift each other, make a point to see the systemic oppression not only against you but against others as well. 

Sketch: TBS

S Arzooman Chowdhury is an Alumnus of the University of Cambridge. She is a Human Rights and Research Specialist.

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and views of The Business Standard.