How students can get back on track after a breakup
Students often face emotional turbulence when relationships fall apart, especially during crucial academic phases or teenage years. The mental chaos often translates into lowered grades, absenteeism, anxiety, or worse
In 2023, Meem Islam (pseudonym) was a final-year university student, fully motivated with both her career ambitions and personal relationships. But it turned into a period of emotional and academic turmoil in no time.
The relationship did not have a happy ending.
It didn't just leave her heartbroken—it derailed her entire academic focus. She found herself unable to concentrate, losing interest in her studies and skipping extracurricular commitments she once cared about deeply.
"I'd wake up and wonder if it was all just a nightmare. I couldn't bring myself to study or even care about my degree. I got sick," she shared.
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As her mental and physical health declined, Meem missed her honours final exams entirely. The emotional trauma bled into every aspect of her academic life, halting years of hard work and progress.
After seven months of regular counselling—five to seven sessions each month—she finally started to get back on track and return to her studies.
"After a breakup, daily routines often collapse. Students may skip meals, sleep poorly, neglect hygiene, avoid exercise, and lose interest in everything. The first actionable step is to reestablish a rhythm: eat properly, sleep well, and start with light exercise. Meditation and yoga can also be immensely helpful in reducing anxiety"
Meanwhile, Sadman Sadek, now a third-year engineering student at Khulna University of Engineering and Technology (KUET), remembers how a heartbreak during his college final year nearly derailed his academic path.
"I was in my final year of college. A teenager with colourful glasses in my eyes, everything felt overwhelming. Then I had my first heartbreak," he shared.
In Bangladesh's highly competitive academic environment, especially during the university admission phase, focus and discipline are crucial. But for Sadman, the emotional blow shattered his concentration. He withdrew from his daily routine, skipping both college and admission coaching classes—critical components of university admission exam preparation.
"I lost all my focus. I ended up performing terribly in my exams," he said.
The isolation took a toll not just on his emotional well-being but also on his academic momentum, setting him back during one of the most important periods of his education.
However, these are not just two isolated stories. Students in Bangladesh often face emotional turbulence when relationships fall apart, especially during crucial academic phases or teenage years. The mental chaos often translates into lowered grades, absenteeism, anxiety, or worse.
"It's a form of grief," says Tawhida Shiropa, founder and CEO of Moner Bondhu. "Attachment issues differ from person to person. But when someone loses that emotional connection, they enter a grief cycle, starting with denial. Some refuse to accept it, some fall into rage, and others develop anxiety or depression. The time it takes to come out of it varies," she said.
She adds that during this phase, young adults, particularly those under 25, may create a comfort zone within their trauma. "Without a supportive environment or internal willingness to recover, it gets harder. They know what they have to do, but they refuse to do it," she added.
So, what's the way out?
Tawhida stresses that the first step must always be acceptance. "Not asking why it happened to me, but accepting that it did. That's where healing starts. The people who are with you now — friends and family— matter more than those who left."
Kazi Rumana Haque, a psychosocial counsellor who has worked with hundreds of students, agrees. "Relationships begin easily— and sometimes they end just as quickly. That's the truth. A break-up doesn't mean life has ended. It just hurts because we lose the shared emotions and memories," she said.
Rumana warns against two common coping mechanisms: isolation and jumping into a rebound relationship.
"Some students vow never to love again. Others immediately start a new relationship — both are unhealthy. The focus should be on self. First heal, then rebuild," she mentions.
Kazi Rumana Haque highlights the five most effective steps that help students recover and regain focus on their studies.
1. Self-care and routine
After a breakup, daily routines often collapse. Students may skip meals, sleep poorly, neglect hygiene, avoid exercise, and lose interest in everything. The first actionable step is to reestablish a rhythm: eat properly, sleep well, and start with light exercise. Meditation and yoga can also be immensely helpful in reducing anxiety.
2. Keep yourself engaged
Keep your brain and body occupied. Try doing the things you love — painting, singing, gaming — anything healthy and engaging. You need to divert your mind from constant overthinking. Breathing exercises can also help; they're a great way to manage stress and improve concentration.
3. Seek professional help
Breakups are a form of emotional injury. And like any injury, some wounds heal faster with professional help. Therapists can provide tools and perspectives that friends and family may not be equipped to offer.
4. Set goals— both personal and academic
Goal-setting is a path to regaining control. It doesn't have to be limited to career goals. Ask yourself: where do I want to be in one year — in my personal life, in my studies? When you have a vision, your daily actions begin to align with it. That's how you start to focus again.
5. Choose whom you confide in
Students often share their emotional pain with the wrong people. Not everyone deserves to know your struggles. Sharing is important, but only with those who will respect your privacy and not spread negativity.
