How parental pressure drives youth suicide in Bangladesh

When a child is born, parents dream of a bright future for them. But in many households across Bangladesh, these dreams — ranging from academic accolades to a high-paying job — come with crushing expectations.

When Raihan (pseudonym) received his SSC results, a GPA of 5, he rushed home with shaking hands, hoping for a celebration or at least a simple pat on the back from his parents. 

"Instead, I was met with blank faces. They expected a golden GPA 5 because almost all of my friends got one. They were disappointed and didn't talk to me for three to four months," he recalled.

From an early age, children are taught that their worth is tied to academic performance. A top GPA, a seat in a prestigious university, or a high-paying job is seen as the ultimate measure of success. 

"Instead of letting a child grow into their own person, we try to mould them into someone they're not. We force everyone onto the same path as if success is a scientific formula that must be adhered to. Rather, every child is gifted in their own way. If we don't let them flourish, we're only obstructing their potential." - Habiba Sultana Runty, psychologist, Nabab Foyzunnessa Chowdhurani Chhatrinibash, University of Dhaka

At just 16 years old, Raihan felt invisible in his own home. The silence weighed on him. As he prepared for his HSC exams, fear consumed him.  "I tried to take my own life multiple times," he confessed. "I was later diagnosed with clinical depression." 

Numbers tell a devastating story

Raihan's story is not an isolated case. Academic pressure, fear of failure and emotional neglect drive many young students towards despair.

A recent study by non-profit Aachol Foundation found that 49.4% of students (310) who died by suicide in 2024 were schoolgoers. College students accounted for 23.2% of such cases. 

The study, titled 'Students Committed Suicide in 2024: Need Coordinated Initiatives,' highlights how overwhelming expectations are pushing students to their breaking points.

According to the report, 14.2% of students who died by suicide cited academic pressure as the primary reason. 

The 13-19 age group was the most affected, making up 65.7% of student suicides. 

Worryingly, the trend among undergraduate students is increasing, now at 14.6% — a sign that even those who survive the pressure of school continue to struggle under societal expectations.

According to Sayeeda Islam Sadia, co-leader of the Research and Analysis Unit at Aachol Foundation, beyond the communication gap, a key issue is the inability to regulate stress and emotions. Parents, overwhelmed by their own responsibilities, often misdirect their stress onto their children through harsh criticism, even for minor mistakes.

This gradually erodes a child's self-confidence, making them fear mistakes rather than learn from them. Over time, their distress tolerance weakens, and they become more afraid of disappointing their parents than of making mistakes.

The root of the problem

Psychologist Habiba Sultana Runty at Nabab Foyzunnessa Chowdhurani Chhatrinibash, University of Dhaka, believes that one of the biggest flaws in Bangladesh's education system is comparison.

"Instead of letting a child grow into their own person, we try to mould them into someone they're not. We force everyone onto the same path, as if success is a scientific formula that must be followed," she said, explaining how every child is "gifted in their own way". 

"If we don't let them flourish, we're only obstructing their potential." 

She also pointed to the school teachers, due to a lack of proper training and they contribute. "Teachers sometimes resort to bullying or harsh comparisons in the classroom. Terms like 'backbencher' come from them. They say things like 'Tomake diye eta hobena' (You're not capable of this) instead of identifying the real issue. This breaks a child's confidence over time."

During early childhood, what children need most is empathy, emotional regulation and a sense of self-worth. Instead, they are pushed into a relentless chase for grades, leading them to believe that their worth is measured solely by academic success.

Conditional love

This constant pressure to achieve often makes parental love feel conditional. Many children grow up believing that their value is tied to their grades, that they will be heard only if they succeed academically.

Habiba Sultana said, "It's almost as if parents provide shelter and food, and in return, the child is expected to bring good results. But what happens when a child fails or struggles? They begin to feel unworthy of love."

This, in turn, creates an internalised pressure in children. They push themselves beyond their limits, afraid of failure, not because they fear failing itself, but because they fear disappointing their parents. 

In many cases, parents impose their unfulfilled dreams onto their children, expecting them to achieve what they could not. 

Neha, a private university student, knows this struggle all too well.

"My parents always wanted me to become a doctor because no one in our family is one," she shared. But she was never interested in biology and wanted to pursue culinary arts.

Her parents refused to listen to her. Instead, they forced her into medical admission coaching. When she didn't get in, they were devastated. "They never asked what I wanted. They just assumed they knew what was best for me," she shared.

A silent struggle

Despite the alarming rise in youth suicide, Habiba Sultana explained that mental health remains a taboo topic in many parts of the country, with parents often refusing to believe that their child could be struggling.

Seeking therapy is discouraged due to societal fears, especially the fear of "lokey ki bolbe" (what will people say?). As a result, many young people suffer in silence, unable to seek the help they desperately need.

Even for those who recognise the need for support, accessing professional help is difficult, owing to the limited pool of registered therapists and clinical psychologists.

Government initiatives to make mental health care accessible are almost non-existent. While government hospitals such as NIMH, Mitford Hospital, Shaheed Suhrawardy Medical College and Hospital, BSMMU, and DMCH offer counselling services at affordable rates, private mental health care remains expensive, making it inaccessible to many young people.

Habiba Sultana suggested a multi-layered approach that requires urgent government intervention, teacher training courses, particularly for primary school teachers, registered therapists at every college and university and training programs for new parents to help them better understand and emotionally support their children.

Most importantly, she stresses the need for nationwide awareness campaigns.

Aachol Foundation — among others — has taken initiatives to bridge the gap in mental health support, offering online workshops, trauma recovery workshops, etc. However, their outreach remains limited. These organisations and initiatives require investment and advertisement.  

Until these changes happen, young people like Raihan and Neha will continue to suffer under the crushing weight of expectations. 

For years, the rising suicide rates among students in Bangladesh have been a clear warning sign. This demands urgent attention and a comprehensive approach to break the stigma surrounding mental health and, as a result, save lives