Too many risky restaurants online now: Lawman explains as he shuts down Facebook, Instagram

Illustration: Copilot

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In another show of overprotection after the fact, law enforcers shut down Facebook and Instagram after going on a spree of reporting accounts of restaurants. 

"We have pretty much shut down every restaurant in the capital. But some were operating Facebook pages so we decided to crack down on it," a law enforcer under the condition of anonymity said. 

How such a feat was achieved was also easily explained. 

"LOL. I met Zuckerberg at the Ambani wedding. I informed him about the crisis here regarding restaurants and he assured me he would take action," said the law enforcer. 

Asked how he secured the invite, he laughed and humbly bragged about his net worth. 

Zamin Amin, the head of the newly-formed Rampage on Restaurants Unit (RRU), said, "We realised how slimy these restaurateurs are. They were literally conducting operations on something called 'Cloud Kitchens'. Can you believe that? Kitchen on the clouds. Where's the fire exit there?" 

Bebshi Begum, owner of Haven Angle Taste Food, expressed outrage at the sudden closure of her cloud kitchen. 

"I cooked in my house and served people using different social media platforms. Many people said my beef stick burger was an amazing invention. Now I don't know how I will pay my workers," she said. 

A source inside the RRU, however, said the unit had nothing to do with the social media blackouts. 

"They just like to take credit when they can. They aren't really sure what they are doing," the source added. 

For now, the blackout continues. 

"I am not sure what the ruckus is about. Why would people starve? I haven't had two meals in months," a ridiculously poor and petty-minded rickshaw puller Rubel said.