Why you shouldn't stop dating after marriage

The mention of "dating after marriage" invoked a startle from a colleague of mine. 

To put her at ease I quickly had to clarify that I was only talking about going on dates with one's spouse and nothing else.

The concept of dating does not have to be limited to the courting phase of a relationship. Remember those moments when your partner would try to woo you with heartfelt compliments or dress up just to get a second glance from you?

Why should that stop after marriage? Marriage is not the end, simply the beginning of another phase of the relationship.

It is easy to get sucked into a routine and start to take each other for granted, which ultimately dampens the excitement in a relationship.

Photo: Nayem Ali/TBS

Merely going out to eat while engrossed in our phones does not qualify as a date in my books. 

True connection requires being present in the moment.

What can be helpful in setting the tone for the "date" is actively setting aside a day and choosing a place you both want to visit and actually make time for each other.

I know it sounds like too much effort but trust me it can do wonders for your marriage.

Thoughtful surprises, whether in the form of a kind note or an impromptu date night, contribute significantly to having a happy relationship.

I am a very lazy person in general, my idea of spending quality time is just having food while watching TV in the coziness of our own home.

I found that occasionally, a bit more effort is required to reignite the spark, to make the butterflies flutter again.

Photo: Nayem Ali/TBS

For instance, me and my husband could not manage to go on a retreat on one of our anniversaries but we decided we would still make the weekend special. So, we chose a few movies to watch, I did some dusting and cleaning to tidy up the house, he removed all stray elements from our room to make it resemble a hotel, put on clean sheets, hung some fairy lights, ordered some good food and decided to have a movie night. 

Had a movie night, made some scrumptious breakfast the day after, cooked some khichuri in the afternoon and concluded the weekend with a game night. 

I am up for a quick organising session any time but husband dearest is very particular about organising so he isn't always up for it. I on the other hand am reluctant to play video games, we all have to do some things we do not like to bring some happiness into life. Not gonna lie, playing Lego Batman on the PS5 turned out to be pretty fun.

Dates and retreats do not always have to be grand, it can just be a walk in the park.

Having experiences together while unravelling your inner thoughts is one of the best ways to strengthen your bond.

In essence, the key lies in actively investing in the relationship, with mutual effort and dedication.