Did I empower my wife, or is it the other way around

: So tell me, how did I empower you?

- Empower me? You only gave me mental trauma.

Her statement was followed by laughter and a list of things I did wrong, including borrowing money from her and never returning.

Let's go back a little.

Me and my wife were raised in different parts of the country. She is from the northernmost point of Bangladesh, while I am from the south.

Our food habits were different, we were raised in different climates. Growing up, she learned the history of drought, and mine was cyclones. She loves beef and chicken while I feasted on all the fishes the country has.

To better communicate with someone, you need to have some common ground and topics of mutual interest. There weren't many things common between us other than the fact that we liked each other's company.

Another thing that was common between us was the fact that we both lived away from our families. In some strange ways, we were entirely on our own in this city before we had each other. So we shared our lunch every day and kept looking for other things that might be common between us.

My wife and I, we were from different departments. I was a student of Journalism while she was studying English Literature. But as our relationship progressed and hit its first few months, we found another mutual interest, and it was our interest to work in journalism.

I, still young and dumb and excited about the new discovery, told her to switch her department. She did not. But she did join the campus-based television, and learned everything she could there.

Now she has been working in the journalism sector for the same period as me. As a matter of fact, she was the one who sent my CV to TBS some four years ago when she heard about a possible vacancy. We were both selected and started our full-time work as colleagues.

Here's something very interesting. We were just in a two-and-a-half-year relationship back then and she sent my CV with hers knowing fully well that there could have been only one vacancy.

But she couldn't care less.

So, how did I empower her? Isn't it the other way around, if anything?

I did certain things, yes.

I may have helped her a little with what I learned from my journalism classes. I may have shown her a thing or two every now and then.

I stayed by her side when she got sick. I fed her when she was too weak or tired to eat on her own. I took care of her. I praised her for doing something good and scolded her when I thought she could do better.

I encouraged her, I motivated her, I pushed her to the limit.

But as a partner, wasn't that what I was supposed to do anyways? Am I supposed to expect a Nobel Prize on marriage for doing what I was supposed to do as a partner?

: I did so many things for you. What did you do for me?

- Umm.. Everything?

We are not a seasoned married couple, by any chance. It's been only two years and a few months since our marriage, and she has always been by my side no matter what I went through.

My wife helped me rediscover my love for music. She turned me into a fun person from a boring one. She motivates me and pushes me further to achieve things that I never ever imagined to achieve.

Sounds too corny? Let's get back to serious stuff.

"If I can, why can't you?"

My wife taught me a valuable lesson by pursuing a career in journalism. You don't always need to pursue the exact same academic degree for what you want to do. You just need your willpower.

It was my wife who taught me to get out of my comfort zone and explore whatever I want to explore. If my wife can study English Literature and have a successful career in journalism, why can't I study journalism and learn programming languages?

This one question she actively made me think about changed the entire course of my career.

We have this concept in Bangladesh where men are looked at as providers. After marriage, men are burdened with all the responsibilities. I was sent the same direction, but she did not let me take the burden.

In our house, we both chip in for our financial needs. If I spend money on groceries, my wife spends on groceries as well. If I buy one furniture or appliance, she gets the next one. If I spend all the money by the 20th, which happens a lot, she keeps giving me money for the rest of the month.

The way it works is that the money we earn stays with us as our separate earnings. But when any of us run out of cash, we know that it is not the end of the world. We can ask for money from the other person.

It's not about me being a support system for my wife's empowerment and being a part of the larger movement of Women Empowerment. It's about us being each other's support system.

It's about us respecting each other and being on each other's side like we promised…

 …in health, and in sickness.

: Kaniz, the doctor gave me some tests. Can you bKash me some money?

- How much do you need?

: ..k?

- Will it be enough?

: There's also some medicine. Send me 500 extra.

- Ok.