When movies mend: Cinema as a grief companion

One of the most moving moments in 'How I Met Your Mother' comes from season six, episode 'Bad News' when Lily delivers devastating news to her husband Marshall— his father has died. What makes this scene particularly haunting is that the actors, Jason Segel (Marshall) and Alyson Hannigan (Lily), weren't given the script beforehand. 

The directors wanted to capture genuine, raw emotion. When Lily steps out of the cab and says, "Your dad did not make it," Marshall's heartbreaking response of "My dad died?" feels painfully authentic.

The scene goes beyond typical sitcom territory, creating a moment where fiction mirrors reality so closely that it resonates deeply with viewers who have experienced the loss of a parent. Even a decade after the show's finale, this scene remains unforgettable for its honest portrayal of grief.

Television series and movies, when directed thoughtfully, have a genuine factor to change our perspective, offer comfort, move us emotionally, provide guidance, or simply entertain through compelling characters and storytelling. 

While many people processing grief seek comfort in conversations with others who share similar experiences, there are times when solitude becomes a necessity. During these moments, cinemas about loss can serve as silent companions. 

Watching characters navigate similar struggles on screen can provide a profound sense of connection without requiring direct interaction. There's something deeply therapeutic about witnessing another's grief journey, even through fiction. 

It validates our own experience and reminds us we're not alone in our pain. Though the weight of loss never truly disappears, people learn to grow around their grief. Finding solace in these stories, and having a good cry while watching someone else's journey, can provide temporary relief – a moment of lightness, even if just for a day. 

So if you are seeking comfort in movies, here are four films that offer a gentle embrace through grief.

Manchester By the Sea (2016)

'Manchester by the Sea' is a perfect winter companion, best experienced wrapped in a blanket with a hot cup of tea. Set against the bleak, cold backdrop of Massachusetts, the film follows Lee Chandler (Casey Affleck), a solitary janitor in Boston carrying the weight of his past. 

When his brother Joe suddenly passes away, Lee reluctantly returns to his hometown of Manchester, only to discover he's been named guardian of his teenage nephew. 

The film masterfully captures the complexity of grief, showing how past trauma shapes our present and how some wounds resist healing. Director Kenneth Lonergan creates an intimate portrait of loss that feels deeply personal and universally resonant. 

While heart-wrenching, the story also finds moments of genuine human connection amidst the winter chill, making it a profound exploration of how we carry on when life forces us to face our deepest pain.

Coco (2017)

While animated films are often dismissed as 'just for kids,' some carry profound emotional weight that resonates deeply with viewers of all ages. Pixar's 'Coco' is a great example that replaces typical cartoon silliness with rich storytelling and heart-wrenching moments. 

The film follows Miguel, a passionate 12-year-old aspiring musician whose dreams clash with his family's mysterious generations-old ban on music. 

On Día de los Muertos (Day of the Dead), Miguel's determination to pursue music leads to an extraordinary journey when he finds himself transported to the Land of the Dead. 

Through his adventure, the film explores profound themes of family, legacy, and the delicate balance between pursuing one's dreams and honouring family bonds. 'Coco' proves that animation can be a powerful medium for exploring complex emotions and cultural traditions while teaching valuable lessons about love, loss, and remembrance.

Okko's Inn (2018)

If you are an anime fan this is a gem of a film that is not talked about enough. 'Okko's Inn' is a moving animated film about a young girl finding meaning after loss. When Okko loses her parents, she moves to her grandmother's traditional Japanese inn, where the simple act of helping guests becomes her unexpected path to healing. 

As her grandmother teaches her the ways of running the inn, Okko discovers that caring for others helps mend her broken heart. 

The speciality of the film is it shows grief through a hopeful lens - not by ignoring the pain, but by showing how new relationships and daily routines can help us move forward. 

Through beautiful animation, the story creates a gentle space for viewers to think about loss and healing, while showing that sometimes the best way through grief is by opening our hearts to others.

The Farewell (2019)

Stories of grief are often best told by those who have lived them and at the same time they can fall under the 'unreliable narrator' category, 'The Farewell' is a mixture of both. 

Drawing from her own experiences, Lulu Wang captures the complexities of a Chinese-American family coming together during a family crisis.

The film raises many questions about cultural traditions, taboos, and the contrasts between immigrant and non-immigrant characters. However, the film stops short of providing concrete answers. Lulu Wang's approach leans more toward personal catharsis than resolving the intellectual complexities it explores. 

Foreign films beyond Hollywood offer diverse cinematic experiences, and this movie invites your contemplation on important conversations.