My First Film: Indeed, it’s yours, and it’s absorbing

Zia Anger is one of the emerging filmmakers who made a bold entry, and she certainly fared well in telling her own story to the world using the language of film.

Resonating with Andre Bazin's idea of the 'Mummy Complex,' Zia Anger, in her film, refers to the intrinsic human idea of preserving life and reality through art, like Egyptians mummified bodies to provide a defense against the passage of time, and attempt to capture and immortalize moments and experiences.

The global streaming platform MUBI released 'My First Film' earlier in September this year, after its world premiere at the Copenhagen International Documentary Film Festival in March 2024. 

The film captures the concept of human-centeredness, unveiling unfiltered, fearless experiences and urging audiences to immerse themselves in raw, real-life stories, ultimately celebrating the authenticity of existence.

The director chose not to please others but instead attempted to break the traditional boundaries of cinema and leave the spectators with the liberty to interpret the meaning, just as Bazin advocated for cinema's treatment of reality.

Spectatorship varies depending on social system, cognition, and perception. In that sense, My First Film is indeed new in expression, experimental, and engages with the theme of human finitude, as it deals with memory, failure, and transience of both life and creativity and echoes broader existential themes, reflects artistic failure and anguish like Frida Kahlo expressed in the painting – The Broken Column.

Zia Anger took a bold step into filmmaking, writing and directing a meta film that explores the experience of being a woman and a filmmaker. It's emotional and, as the filmmaker puts it: 'ass-o-teric' (read esoteric). 

Blurring the lines between reality and fiction, the story of this essay film revolves around Vita, a young woman who wants to make her first semi-autobiographical film on a shoestring budget and with an inexperienced crew.

Zia Anger heavily relied on hand-held, fast-paced camera movement throughout the film, which sometimes may seem like an exaggeration. Anger employed a deliberately disjointed editing style and used photo collages, unfinished films, emails, and personal notes and files to provide a trembling effect.

In the film, Vita's real story and the fictitious story merge together like an estuary in the end and give birth to an intriguing work called 'My First Film'. In Vita's story, she has two mothers. And the story of Vita's conception is pretty extraordinary. 

She was born more out of wonder rather than love. In Vita's film, Dina, the protagonist, plays the role of Vita. Dina's father is sick, so she takes care of him. She gets pregnant and leaves home in search of her mother, who abandoned her. 

In easy terms, it's a narrative feature that depicts the journey of Zia Anger to be a filmmaker through her character, Vita, who tells her story of creating art through her character, Dina. 

Yes, it's a film within a film and a paradox. In the movie, Zia takes the audience through the journey of making her first film, 'Always All Ways, Anne Marie' (which is listed on IMDb as 'Abandoned').

Zia Anger heavily relied on hand-held, fast-paced camera movement throughout the film, which sometimes may seem like an exaggeration. Anger employed a deliberately disjointed editing style and used photo collages, unfinished films, emails, and personal notes and files to provide a trembling effect. 

However, this particular editing approach sometimes feels repetitive. While the film's montage purports to be one of its strengths, at times, it lacks authenticity when the narrative repeatedly brings up the juxtaposition of hope and rejection. 

But what makes the film absorbing?

Zia took a unique approach to start off her cinematic journey and braced an uncomfortable yet engaging narration style, combining performance pieces and fiction. It's a tribute to feminism and an ecstatic celebration of embracing womanhood fearlessly. This film is a seesaw between an artistic endeavour and a psychosomatic odyssey. 

There are moments in the film that blend fact and fiction with fragmented imagery (abortion depicted through an act of mime) and invite the audience to reflect on existence and dreams with disorienting effects and defy straightforward cinematic expectations.

It's a film that is imperfect but true to life. It lacks sightedness but celebrates the joy of the journey to create something new, untold, and unheard. The filmmaker acknowledged her flaws with a brazen assurance at the beginning of the film so that her audiences do not feel deceived and derailed. 

It opens up with typed messages, an introduction for its audience— "This probably shouldn't be a film…but it is. My videos are not the film lol. Still, I thought the first thing you see should be 'joy.'"

And it ends with— "You know, all you need is a body to create, but what you create, that is up to you."