Why are Bangladeshis so shy when communicating?

Illustration: TBS

Cricket is one of the few things that unites us as Bangladeshis. We enjoy post-match ceremonies just as much as we do cricket matches. And from these ceremonies, you will find more meme collections and video collages of Pakistani cricketers getting ridiculed hilariously for their terrible understanding and speaking skills in English. 

There are trolls on Inzamam-ul-Haq's English, while Wasim Akram, a member of the same team, is a highly articulate orator. Some players also speak up confidently while using erroneous English. The Fizz, our speed sensation, crushes batters on the pitch, but he is exceedingly shy in real life. 

And who can forget the troll -- "I am GPA Five" -- when a Bangladeshi student translated "I've got GPA Five" from Bangla to English for a TV reporter?

There is also a noticeable contrast between a CNN or BBC TV reporter and our local TV reporters, as well as international cricket commentators and ours. We frequently get tongue-tied while speaking, and we fill in the gaps with filler words like "um," "ah," "well," or "you see." Somehow, we feel more at ease communicating by writing, such as through letters, columns, and messages, than face-to-face conversation.

Does it stem from a lack of confidence? Or should we blame the language barrier? 

Sometimes, it is about something other than language. You'll also notice people around us who need help talking, are at a loss for words during live news, or make too many grammatical blunders even in their native language. Some people hide their faces when a reporter approaches. It is primarily due to communication shyness. 

Communication shyness is observed worldwide, affecting individuals in various social and cultural contexts. Many such interviews are available online, in which Americans, a nation that speaks English, stammer while replying to TV hosts.

In the case of Bangladesh, where a rich tapestry of traditions and values coexists, the predominance of shyness in communication can be traced to a combination of cultural factors and individual experiences.

The cultural focus on respect and humility could be a preliminary reason contributing to communication shyness in our country. Individuals are educated from a young age to show reverence to superiors and elders, instilling a sense of reserve in their interactions. While this cultural value is necessary for harmonious relationships, it can unwittingly contribute to shyness, particularly in unfamiliar or hierarchical circumstances such as interviews.

Furthermore, our education system prioritises memorised information and commonality, limiting students from expressing opposing views or engaging in open conversations. This educational approach may contribute to a lack of confidence in articulating thoughts and ideas, making individuals more reticent in communication settings.

The societal expectation of conformity is another element that influences our communication shyness. Like many other collectivist societies, we prioritise compliance with social norms and expectations. 

At work, we expect people to follow certain etiquette borrowed from global norms not indigenous to our society. This cultural pressure can instil a fear of judgement, prompting people to hesitate or retreat when asked to express themselves, for fear of deviating from accepted norms.

Furthermore, economic considerations can contribute to communication shyness. Interviews and professional interactions are more critical in a country with limited career options. Fear of giving the wrong impression or saying anything unsuitable might cause increased apprehension and shyness in communication situations.

Addressing communication shyness requires a multi-faceted approach. 

We need educational reforms that encourage critical thinking, creativity, and open dialogue that can cultivate strong communicators early on. We must teach our youngsters to express their thoughts when asked. 

Shy people often assume their opinions are irrelevant or no one cares. We must allow our children to voice themselves openly and foster a culture of constructive criticism, which can help them develop communication skills and overcome shyness.

Promoting a culture that values diverse perspectives and encourages open communication can also help alleviate shyness. By laughing at someone's mistakes, mis-spellings or wrong pronunciations, we only make overcoming the challenges tough for that person. If you are good at your job, use your knowledge to initiate a conversation when you see a co-worker struggling. 

We need to be more sociable than we were yesterday. Building communication skills and confidence will take time, but if we improve daily, we will get there soon enough. Start with small talk – saying hello, asking how colleagues are doing – and build up.

Shyness comes from a lack of confidence. And often, your confidence is damaged not by what other people say to you, but by what you say to yourself. Educational institutes and workplaces can implement training programs focused on communication skills, giving people the tools and confidence to express themselves effectively. 

At work, we can use making small presentations as an opportunity to practise. Let us not dread giving a presentation at work the next time. Let us take the time to prepare thoroughly. Let us practise the delivery at home, in front of friends, or in front of a mirror. If you challenge yourself to do better than the last time, you will.

Recognising that you are not alone in your anxieties is an unconventional yet effective strategy to overcome shyness and confidence issues. When you start chatting with other shy people or those who want to enhance their communication skills, you'll find their fears are unwarranted... and that implies yours are as well!

If it seems like an uncontrollable force is holding you back - it is not true. You will gradually gain confidence as you attempt to enhance your communication skills. And you won't be shy anymore; shyness will eventually perish from your life.

Shyness is an unusual problem since it comes from the inside. Thus, the only person who can take action is you.

Shafiq R. Bhuiyan. Sketch: TBS

Shafiq R Bhuiyan is the Vice President of Communication and CSR at BRAC Bank PLC.

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and views of The Business Standard.