How to talk to your boss about your resignation

Life is all about embracing changes. Nothing is absolute or everlasting, just like life itself. 

But when it comes to switching jobs, the decision can sometimes be difficult. Talking to your boss about a new job offer or resignation can often be a big deal. You might suffer from feelings of guilt, especially if your work is indispensable to the company or you have developed strong personal relations with your employer. On the flipside, your current employer might be someone who holds grudges and at the same time carries a lot of clout, and you could be worried about repercussions to your career in the future. 

But in the end, you have to make a decision based on what's best for you at a personal level, as well as in terms of your career. You could have justifiable reasons to want to leave - the salary, environment, work load, or anything you are not satisfied with.

To a certain degree, your relationship with your employer until then determines if your resignation will be easy or not. We reached out to a few professionals who found themselves in that situation in the past.

"For me, it was not that challenging. You can just have a discussion and receive a lovely farewell," said Debabrata Bhowmik, a professional copywriter based in Dhaka.

"I think a positive impression of you at the workplace makes it easy. You have to start building it from the very first day," he added. 

The positive impression, however, became an obstacle for Arabi Hasan Sakib, a software engineer. He started his career in a small firm and it was tough for him to resign when he got a better offer. 

Sakib had to plead that his resignation be accepted, for a couple of weeks in a row after tendering it. He was determined to leave, but the company had no intentions of letting him go. 

"You should not keep your current company updated on your decisions. Let your boss know only once you have decided what you are going to do. That is the professional thing to do from my point of view" he said.

So, before facing your boss, face yourself first. There is a lot to ask and negotiate with yourself. You must be honest and precise on why you would like to switch the job. A cost versus benefit analysis can clearly delineate a comparison between the two positions and help you find the right way to follow.

As Akib Azmine Amer, a human resource professional, with years of experience in international companies, said to this writer, "It is not only about salary for everyone. Sometimes, a person could choose to settle for a lower salary at a company because of a better culture, better role, career progression, work location, additional benefits, flexible work, and so on. There are so many factors to consider, and just basing your switch on salary is not wise for a long term career."

You can try to have an in-person conversation with your boss. Firstly, share some good words, express gratitude, and share your great experience with the team. Gradually, reveal what offer you got and how it matches your preferences. Explain explicitly why you are quitting the job.

If you really want to criticise any problematic system then be very polite and constructive. Telling lies or making up excuses is never useful.

Resignation is not a sin. Employees have every right to leave the company based on their preferences, given they have served the notice on time and returned all company assets or dues. 

A manager may try to understand the reasons and persuade an employee to stay, but they should not confront her/him or point fingers at them for putting in a resignation. So it is not about lies or excuses, rather, it should be a constructive conversation, giving the employee a safe space to speak freely.

Make sure that you give the floor to your boss as well. If you are an asset to the company, the conversation could be volatile. Your boss would definitely think about what he can offer you so that you do not leave. That may even make you rethink your decision.

When asked about the managerial level's point of view about an employee showing interest to shift to a rival company, Amer said, "There are many top employers in the market now. Losing talent is difficult but that is where HR plays a critical role in ensuring a positive culture where employees are valued, have proper career plans, and feel included at the workplace." 

We reached out to Ranan Rahim Chowdhury, a corporate professional with ten years of experience, with an even more interesting query - what if your boss emotionally blackmails you? 

"If that happens, it makes things easier for you to decide. You know that you are being manipulated and so you should move on."

This is however easier said than done. Such manipulation may come from all directions, which obscures your view of personal priorities. The boss or people concerned may appear to be closer to you than they actually are, and it may then become very hard to resist or deny them. 

"You need to keep your composure and understand that your absence may create a vacuum that they cannot fill easily, thus, they are resorting to desperate measures. But manipulative experiences can create traumatic episodes in life that will haunt you. So, springing off immediately from the scene is highly recommended," says Ranan.

Life is a journey. Move forward. It is not about being in one place forever. But what matters is you try to leave on the best terms possible and with as much goodwill as possible, because you never know what the future may hold. One day, you might find yourself working with the same company, or at least the same people.