I am afraid even to post a thank you note on Facebook: Khadija

A sudden gust of wind howled past the walls of Kashimpur Central Jail. A nor'wester followed. The sky grew dark and brought rain pouring down, much to the relief of some of the prisoners. 

One of the prisoners was Khadijatul Kubra, a Jagannath University (JnU) student imprisoned for months on charges filed under the Digital Security Act (DSA) – later replaced by the Cyber Security Act (CSA) in September 2023. Khadija was out in the open near the mango trees behind the prison walls. 

'Happiness is picking mangoes on your uncle's land on a stormy day' – reads Palli Kabi Jasimuddin's popular rhyme; ingrained in the mind of every Bangladeshi. And so Khadija, under the mango tree, became exuberant as green mangoes fell to the ground by the force of the strong winds. 

She collected some mangoes, went back to her ward and distributed them among her inmates. 

This could have been her only happy occasion in this period of nightmare in her life, except that she had a powerful inmate named Shamima Nur Papia, a former Jubo Mohila League leader, in Kashimpur jail at that time. 

As the inmates picked the mangoes before Papia came out to shower in the rain, she was enraged and grabbed mangoes from other inmates. Papia's prowess in the prison was something you did not mess with. 

Papia had been arrested with her husband Mofizur Rahman Sumon, a former Chhatra League leader, by RAB in 2020. According to RAB, she was the ringleader of a gang engaged in smuggling counterfeit notes, illegal arms, drugs and a prostitution racket. They were sentenced to 27 years in jail in October of that year. 

On that day, Papiya called on Khadija on a loudspeaker to return the mangoes. Papia harassed her despite Khadija repeatedly telling her that she had distributed the mangoes among other inmates already, and had no interest in eating them herself. 

"Everything in the jail was under Papia's command. But she didn't like me for reasons beyond my knowledge," Khadija told The Business Standard, recalling her days in prison. [Papia was later transferred to another jail after she reportedly tortured an inmate, which led to the latter being hospitalised. The prison staff were also replaced.]

Khadija, meanwhile, had been arrested in August 2022 on DSA cases filed in October 2020, when she was only 17, according to her family.  The Kalabagan and New Market police pressed charges against Khadija for 'tarnishing the country's image' and 'spreading anti-government statements online' because she hosted a webinar where a guest speaker made 'contentious' remarks. 

A BBC Bangla report mentioned that as per the FIR, she was accused of having violated sections 25, 29, 31 and 35 of the DSA. Among them, section 31 is non-bailable. Any person who commits an offence under section 25  may face imprisonment of three years and a fine of Tk3 lakh. Offences under section 29 carry three-year jail terms and Tk5 lakh fines, while offences under section 31 carry jail terms of seven years and fines of Tk5 lakh. 

Khadija had no knowledge about these cases till 27 August 2022 around 9 pm on the night when the police knocked on her door and said she had to go to the police station with them. 

"It came as an absolute shock to me and my family," Khadija recalled. "Even in the police van, I asked them how long it would take, because I had an assignment the next morning in the university." 

That evening, Khadija along with her elder sister, were celebrating the birthday of a student she tutored. After she returned home from the birthday party, her world turned upside down – she was arrested, suffered a panic attack at the police station, was hospitalised and later taken to Kashimpur jail in Gazipur. 

Subsequently, she languished in prison for over 14 months; her bail petitions were denied several times 

After her bail application was rejected twice by the judicial court, the high court granted her bail on 16 February. The chamber court however suspended the High Court's granted bail after a plea from the state. The state party's application was sent to the regular bench of the Appellate Division for hearing. 

Then Khadija filed an application for the withdrawal of the Chamber Court's suspension order. Both these cases were heard in the Appellate Division on 10 July, when hearing was adjourned for four months and Khadija's bail remained suspended. 

Finally, the agenda returned to the Appellate Division on 16 November when the state's appeal was dismissed. 

And she suffered all these months in prison – some days were spent in the condemned cell – with a stone in her kidney, Khadija said, an ailment which requires serious medical care. 

Fourteen months and 23 days later, as Khadija recounts, she finally walked out of prison on 20 November and attended her fourth-semester exam. 

A student of political science at JnU, after losing a year of her academic life in jail, Khadija is now looking at her future full of fear. 

"My mother won't let me go alone anywhere, even to the rooftop of our house," Khadija said. "I couldn't even gather the courage to post a thank you note on Facebook to many people out there who campaigned for my release." Her elder sister Sirajum Munira locked her Facebook account from public view to "not invite any further trouble". 

At one point of the conversation, Khadija requested this reporter if we could relay that she was "grateful to all the journalists, human rights defenders, students of various universities – especially Jahangirnagar University students" for she believes they fought for her rights. 

Khadija, however, didn't have much to say about Jagannath University where she studies, because her friends, although active in her support at the beginning, later restrained themselves in fear of repercussions from the university authority. 

While Khadija's bail petitions were being repeatedly denied, the kidney patient inside was tilling the soil, cutting grass, cleaning and engaging in various other labour-intensive work that inmates do. This was taking a toll on her body. She was growing weaker every day while her family continued applications for her right to medical treatment. 

"Whatever happened mentally… happened. But my physical state is worse. There is a stone in my right kidney and a cyst in my left kidney. People's backbones are a little curved, but mine has straightened. So I cannot engage in any labour-intensive work. I cannot lean over," Khadija said. 

Around March 2023, more than six months after her arrest, she was taken for diagnosis by the jail authority with the supreme court's permission. 

"I don't know what the jail authorities did, but they showed me as completely healthy. They tested my urine and then they took me to ultrasonography where they found my bladder was empty. I was fasting that day and had not been instructed to keep my bladder full. I broke my fast immediately."

She went on, "I don't know what they blamed me for, but they sent me to the condemned cell [where inmates awaiting execution are kept in solitary confinement]. I had to live with death row convicts for five days [in late March]." 

"After they gave me that clean bill of health, I had to work very hard in this state. I had to cut soil [and] grass, do house cleaning, water the trees, carry cauldrons full of rice/dal cooked for 30 to 40, atop my head, and walk up three to four floors. I did all the labour-intensive work.

"I told them that I was ill, but nobody listened to me," she said. 

She tried to sew kantha and do other handicraft work to avoid manual labour, but thanks to figures like Papia and other jail staff ill-disposed to her, sewing and handicraft options were taken away from her. 

"One day Papia raided our cell and took my cotton and yarn. They took others' yarn as well. She then interrogated me about why I had so much yarn. My suffering continued until the jailors were changed. The new staff were supportive," Khadija said. 

Although Khadija walks free now, her legal burdens are far from over. During the interview on 27 November, she said there's a hearing on 30 November, and she doesn't know what's in the future. 

"I am still tense. The case is not over. My lawyer would be able to say what awaits me in the future. I am still scared that what I might say again would land me in trouble… I am also worried about what the verdict will be," she said. 

Amid this dark, gloomy and nightmarish chapter of her life, Khadija has found a silver lining – her family. She rediscovered the importance of her family – her mother and sister – who risked everything to save her. 

Her sister Sirajum Munira recounted, "We as a family couldn't be together for two Eids. Our life came to a standstill. It took us days to find a lawyer as nobody wanted to take our case." 

Though Khadija is out of prison now, Munira said they are still tense and fearful. 

"Her case is not over," Munira said. 

"I cannot describe in words what my family went through," Khadija said. "I used to prioritise friends but didn't look after my father and mother. You know what happens to teenagers. They have tantrums and don't like house rules. I had that in me. I would shut my mother out when she tried to say something. 

"But when I was in prison, I was screaming for my mother all the time. I say, thanks to Allah, maybe I needed to go there for this life lesson. At the end of the day, my mother and my sister did so much for me… I am so indebted to my sister," Khadija said.