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TUESDAY, JULY 08, 2025
The alu and the alukhor 

Humour

Ummay Marzan Jui
26 November, 2019, 01:30 pm
Last modified: 26 November, 2019, 01:40 pm

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The alu and the alukhor 

There is a chance that you might wake up in the hospital the next day, smelling like stale potatoes

Ummay Marzan Jui
26 November, 2019, 01:30 pm
Last modified: 26 November, 2019, 01:40 pm

Do you know what alu (potato) means to the alukhors (potato addicts)? This vegetable motivates them, inspires them and makes them feel alive. Energy embraces them when they get to know that there is alu in their next meal. They automatically wake up with a sunny face, smelling the alu bhaji that they will happily gulp down. 

When you consider fries as starters, they consider them as entire meals. They will be ecstatic if you give them potato for every meal. However, you can ask for their money, their favourite perfume or even their laptop, but do not dare to ask for their biriyani's alu. They might stab you with forks. 

If you ask them, they will write you an essay on why potatoes are the greatest thing the world has ever seen. They will also make you a list of at least 100 potato dishes that every person should eat before death. Potato curry, fries, loaded fries, cheesy fries, curly fries, chips, potato gratin, poutine, mashed potato, frittata, you name it and a true alukhor will have eaten it. 

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Potato obsessed people are, however, not obsessed with everything with potato in them. For example if the potatoes are grated into a korolla (bitter gourd) dish, they will never eat it. But, if the veggies are plainly boiled, they will enthusiastically eat them with just a bit of salt or pepper.  

These potato addicts have a passion in them that can sometime make you feel guilty, why do not I have a love this concrete. They can move you to do a 'Khoj: The Search' deliberately, inspired by Ananta Jalil, to dig deep into your heart and discover a love for potato. 

Remember to never say anything negative about alu, even if just for fun. For this potato-obsessed cult, alu is not just a vegetable, it is a lifestyle. You never know where or when an alukhor, or a bunch of alukhors, would be waiting for you in the dark. 

There is a chance that you might wake up in the hospital the next day, smelling like stale potatoes. You would not want that, would you?
 

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