Rethinking parenting for children with autism
As awareness around autism continues to grow in Bangladesh, many parents are beginning to embrace a more compassionate approach to raising neurodivergent children. Nowadays the landscape of autism parenting is shifting towards neuroaffirming practices that prioritise understanding over correction

After Sara (5) finished her pre-school for the day, she was tying her shoelaces, ready to go home. Her mother asked her to look at her teacher and say goodbye, but Sara did not make eye contact. She asked a few more times until Sara left without looking at her teacher.
The next day, Sara's teacher told her mother not to push her to make eye contact since, as a neurodivergent child, it is very difficult for them to do activities that may seem 'normal' or 'simple' to neurotypical children.
In Dhaka, even 20–30 years ago, having a child on the autism spectrum was kept hush-hush. Many people did not even get diagnosed and continue to suffer from attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).
Sahar Noor, a banker, has a younger brother named Rohan, whom she sees as a 'low-functioning' autistic individual.
"When we realised my brother had speech delay issues, my mother was embarrassed about it and did not seek the necessary help. I personally think if my brother had received speech therapy in the first 2–3 years, now he would have been able to say basic words like: food, washroom, sleep — but he can't," shared Noor.
"He does stimming like other autistic and ADHD kids, but he can't say words, though he does sing. A few years back, many services weren't even available, and people were not aware of where to seek treatment," she added.
According to her, "high-functioning" children can go to a normal school and even give O Levels under special conditions with separate invigilators because they have the tendency to get up suddenly or talk randomly, but they can also learn as per the usual curriculum.
However, the terms "high functioning" and "low functioning" are often used casually to describe autistic children, but they can be misleading and unhelpful. Autism is a spectrum, and no two children experience it in the same way.
We have to think beyond this therapy culture. The benefits of Speech and Language Therapy (SLT) and Applied Behaviour Analysis (ABA) for neurodivergent children are limited. That's why my approach is neuroaffirming practice, which recognises neurological differences like autism, ADHD, and dyslexia as variations in human neurology — not as disorders needing correction.
A child who may appear "high functioning" in one setting could struggle in another, while a child labelled "low functioning" might have strengths that go unnoticed. These labels can limit expectations and overlook individuality.
"When the former prime minister's grandchild was diagnosed with autism, that's when the need for change became evident. That too was only 10 years ago. Proyash — the Institute of Special Education — grew in prominence, and my brother attended there for 12 years. Because of that, people can now talk more openly due to its affiliation," Noor explained.
When it comes to parenting style, brown parents often tend to beat their children in 'normal circumstances', and previously, when parents were not educated enough about their child's diagnosis, they thought their children were ill-mannered or had behavioural issues, when that was not the case.
Now, the increase in awareness has helped parents know how to deal with their autistic children, and they can identify why their children act the way they do.
"Ticks or verbal stimming — parents used to yell or try to stop them with their hands. But now we understand why Rohan repeats a phrase over and over again: because he is overstimulated, or he flaps his hands. Now we understand what each activity represents," said Noor.
They use bristles to brush his hands to calm him down when he is overstimulated, as he tends to break bottles when he feels anxious.
"When I feel anxious, I start cleaning my room, but his brain does not function in the same way. Autism can be neurological and behavioural, like with my brother, who has undergone multiple brain tests that showed no issues. People say it's 'jinn' (spiritual influence), but that's not how it works — as if jinns (spirit) have nothing better to do," she concluded.
A shift from traditional way of parenting
As times change, ways of thinking and methods of parenting need to adapt as well.
In another instance, another child named Sara learned a new song. In the music video, a young child is riding a wooden horse, so the next day at school, she got up on a wooden horse and started singing the song. She also pointed to her mother's phone, asking her to play the music. Following the video, she even gave roles to both her mother and teacher to revisit her memory.
A neurotypical child might have said, "Hello, miss, I heard a new song last night," but for a neurodivergent child, it is not the same — they use their own methods to communicate.
Aazia Hossain, a researcher, realised her daughter had a speech delay and enrolled her for Speech and Language Therapy (SLT) at a well-known child development and therapy centre. After a year of SLT, after further assessments, the child was suggested 10-15 hours of ABA (Applied Behaviour Analysis) every week, on top of her SLT and regular school.
Aazia mentioned that for neurodivergent children, it can be quite difficult to deal with changes, and the first therapy centre she enrolled her in would randomly change therapists without informing the parents. This, along with other reasons, made Aazia look for new options, and that was when she found Heaven Education Services
The organisation is run by Anjuman Parvin, a child development specialist.
"We have to think beyond this therapy culture. You are hijacking their childhood by putting them through hours of therapy — and what benefit will it bring if you do not make your home environment suitable for them?", commented Anjuman.
"The benefits of Speech and Language Therapy (SLT) and Applied Behaviour Analysis (ABA) for neurodivergent children are limited. That's why my approach is neuroaffirming practice, which recognises neurological differences like autism, ADHD, and dyslexia as variations in human neurology — not as disorders needing correction," she continued.
Anjuman has been in this line of work since 2009, but it was only in 2021 that she let go of her old practices and moved towards neuroaffirming. She believes children with autism do not and cannot be fixed according to society's expectations, and it is our responsibility to communicate with them in their own way.
"There's a deep sense of grief when you first learn your child is not neurotypical. Many of the dreams you held for them no longer unfold the way you expected — it feels as though some of those hopes have been shelved or even lost. But acknowledgement and acceptance are the first steps in learning how best to support them," shared Aazia
Parents need to constantly rethink, learn, and unlearn to keep up with their children's development, and Anjuman ensures her students' parents stay up to date with her training to provide the best possible environment for their children.
"Not all days look the same — some bring progress, while others have setbacks. Those shifts may seem small to others, but for parents with neurodivergent children, every small win is worth celebrating. At the end of the day, you want to do whatever you can to help your child live their best life and that also means being their strongest advocate so they can be better understood and accepted in this world," Aazia concluded.
Parents carry the vital responsibility of guiding their children with patience and understanding. For autistic children, this means creating an environment where they feel safe, valued, and heard.