Having twins: 'Double trouble' or 'double dose of joy'?
Bringing up twins is no cakewalk, rather it is a very arduous task -- psychologically, economically, and considering physical labour as well. In order to bring up twins, you need to have some ideas about the right parenting hacks
The number of twins being born has hit an all-time high, found a recent study. After analysing records from more than 100 countries, researchers have come to the conclusion that the twin birth rate around the globe has risen by one-third, with around 1.6 million twins born each year.
According to the overview of the study in the journal Human Reproduction, even the Asian region has witnessed a rise of around 32% in the birthrate of twins in the past 40 years. We also see news of twins or triplets being born in Bangladesh more often than ever.
Whenever we see such news, we definitely feel exhilarated. However, we often forget the fact that with twins, there comes a greater responsibility and more parenting challenges as well. Having twins is usually a mixed bag of feelings, as parents may feel both exhilarated and exhausted at the end of the day.
Bringing up twins is no cakewalk, rather it is a very arduous task -- psychologically, economically, and considering physical labour as well. In order to bring up twins, you need to have some ideas about the right parenting hacks.
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As a parent of twins, you will feel emotions that stem from feelings of both 'the more, the merrier' or 'double trouble' depending on the situations you will find yourself in your parenting journey. To deal with this situation, parents will have to prepare themselves for the 'more stress and less me-time' mindset.
You cannot simply manage twins alone, especially from the perspective of a mother. It's practically impossible for a mother to lactate and feed both children together at the same time, but it is often the case that both children feel hungry at the same time. And when you cannot give proper attention to both babies, it results in another problem - the other one starts throwing tantrums.
Twins have a tendency to imitate each other, so it gets tough to deal with their tantrums as you will usually find both nagging and crying almost at the same time. This tendency is called twin escalation syndrome (TES), defined as twins' tendency to emulate and escalate exponentially through tantrums and misbehaviour as a reaction to each other.
When this happens, the mother finds herself in a quandary, as she cannot pay equal attention to both children simultaneously.
Nighttime is probably the most troubling and struggling period for the parents of twins. It's very likely that twins are not going to sleep together at the same time. When one of them is sleeping, someone else will wake up, meaning that it's practically impossible for the mother to have a sound sleep unless the mother has someone at her beck and call who can take care of the other baby at night.
As babies want to sleep in the warmth of the mother, especially in the initial months, they usually don't want to sleep in the father's lap, making it all the more difficult for the mother to bear the pain of staying awake all night to tend to the babies.
This kind of trouble makes it really challenging for a mother to raise twins, especially if we take into account the mental pressure associated with it. No rest, no proper sleep time and other issues can take a heavy toll on the mental health of a mother of twins, pushing her into the blues.
The pressure is also felt by the father as twins come with increasing economic pressure. The cost of raising twins gets multiplied as you need a double set of diapers, infant formula and all the other necessary things. So, the father needs extra economic preparation, if they are going to have twins.
Other family members also have a role to play here. If someone from the family is having twins, we must remember that they need family members' help to raise the twins, especially in the first three years. It's not plausible for parents to take care of twins in a healthy and planned way without adequate support from other family members.
The most important aspect in this regard is to create breathing space for the mother as she would remain almost solely occupied with the babies; this may push her over the edge and in turn, make her sick.
Family members also need to make some arrangements for some 'me-time' for the mother and sometimes step in to keep the babies with them for some time so that the mother can take some rest, which will help her revitalise herself, gain mental strength necessary to roll with the punches and carry on with the tasks related to childrearing with a smile on her face.
When the babies get sick, everyone in the family needs to be more empathetic towards the mother and help her. Despite the fact that a father usually stays out to earn livelihood for significant hours of the day, he also needs to bear the burden and lend a hand to the mother in such tiring times.
A simple gesture of love from the father and other members will definitely come in handy in encouraging and helping the mother.
While raising twins is an undoubtedly tough task and it's difficult to navigate such hard times, it's not something impossible. A proper support system is all a mother of twins needs to go along with the difficult times she has to face in the initial childrearing years, overcome the feeling of trepidation and find her feet while enjoying motherhood.
Finally, a proper plan for bringing up twins should be mapped out long before the babies are born so that everyone in the family can adjust and contribute from their ends to turn 'double trouble' into 'double dose of joy'.
Md Morshedul Alam Mohabat is a columnist who likes to delve deeper into the human psyche and social incongruities with a view to exploring the factors that influence these.
Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and views of The Business Standard.
