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FRIDAY, JUNE 13, 2025
900 million demands of 180 million people

Panorama

Zahid Newaz Khan
27 August, 2024, 09:20 am
Last modified: 27 August, 2024, 09:45 am

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900 million demands of 180 million people

Since the ouster of Hasina, almost everyone has a demand to press home. What’s yours?

Zahid Newaz Khan
27 August, 2024, 09:20 am
Last modified: 27 August, 2024, 09:45 am

Illustration: TBS
Illustration: TBS

In 1972, the editor of the Holiday magazine, Enayetullah Khan, out of frustration wrote an editorial titled "Sixty-five million collaborators".

Fifty-two years later, in 2024, 180 million people are making 900 million demands.

The number could easily have been rounded up to one billion, but there are two issues. First, it would have required fractional claims per person, and demands cannot be fractional. Therefore, it is set at five demands per person, totaling 900 million.

The second problem is that if the number of demands exceeded 900 million, say 1.08 billion, it would mean more than five demands per person, which does not look good either. While everyone has demands, there should be some limits. So, five per head and a total of 900 million seems appropriate.

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This should hopefully cover everyone's demands since everyone has been coming up with some since the ouster of Sheikh Hasina on 5 August.

In protest against continuous rain, the government must resign. The weather office should be surrounded. Join us at Shahbag, but don't forget to bring umbrellas...

- Kazi Anis, a journalism teacher at Cumilla University, on a Facebook post

Starting from the smallest, we have to mention Dhonno, the 2.5-year-old son of journalist Mehdi Masud.

Masud wrote on Facebook, "Oh no, I see the air of 'demands' has entered my house as well. Even this little one is making demands now. What does he want? Our little boy Dhonno demands that he won't eat anything. He turns away whenever he sees food."

Kazi Anis, a journalism teacher at Cumilla University, has also written about several demands on Facebook.

"In protest against continuous rain, the government must resign. The weather office should be surrounded. Join us at Shahbag, but don't forget to bring umbrellas..."

Besides his own, Kazi Anis mentioned various other demands.

He wrote, "Surround the Secretariat demanding a reduction in the price of Jamdani sarees. Protest at Shahbag demanding an increase of cigars in Akij bidi. An uncle said, 'This bidi makes me cough. I don't accept it.' A campaign to throw stones at dormitory windows to cancel midterms, presentations, and assignments. Surrounding gentlemen's parlours demanding that teenagers grow a beard in three days; barbers are on the run. Burn Zuckerberg's vest demanding the removal of the 'haha' option on Facebook posts. So many demands, so many protests..."

Since the formation of the new government, demand parades have seen a revival. Every one of the 180 million people has some demands. Now is the time to fulfil those.

Some demand the resignation of authority figures. Some want medical licences to be called a doctor. Others demand new permits. Rickshaw-pullers want a ban on motorised rickshaws, motorised rickshaw-pullers want the opposite. Some want their jobs regularised. The latest one was by the embodied Ansars. Some want arrears.

Whoever the authority is, whatever the demand, the roads must be blocked. This is the only way.

Don't want to take exams? Hit the streets. Surround the Secretariat. Demand automatic promotion in everything. Even love should be automatic. If needed, even marriage. Whether children want automation is unclear. However, automatic BCS and job demands can certainly be made. Oh, how will it be if the salary is paid automatically without work!

Just raise your voice. Make your demands known.                                          

Demand that jobs cannot be transferred from one department to another. Strike for this. Before giving others an NID, you have to fix your own first. Isn't it?

Someone else earns more than me, and I earn less; stop the metro rail. If the metro does not run from my house, no one should get metro service. Go on strike.

"Apas" and "Bhais," whether you're part of the village party or urban beauty, wherever you are, raise your voice. Make your demands known.

People are now helpless due to these demand-makers. They are blocking roads. Ordinary people have to walk to their destinations or sit in traffic for hours.

We are fortunate that while waiting, those with diabetes are not exceeding their tolerance and flooding the streets. Or, demanding cures for joint pain or other conditions of knees.

Or demanding someone's blink (Palak), or someone else's number two (Bipu) to be returned.

A Facebook post reads, "After dropping the kids off at school, some mothers were talking, saying everyone is out making demands. Let's go too. One asked, 'What's our demand?' Another said, 'There's a good restaurant nearby. Let's sit there and decide about the demand.'"

I cannot recall the name of the person who wrote this, and I apologise. But I am afraid they might demand that their name be mentioned. That is not much of an issue. If such a demand arises, the name can be added. At least we won't have to hit the streets.

Streets! There are many poems on taking to it.

Poet Helal Hafiz wrote, "Now is the best time to join the procession if you have youth." Our situation has become such that whether we have youth or not, now is the best time to hit the streets.

We are now like a herd of cattle whose shepherd has gone missing. After crying wolf too many times, a real wolf has come and taken the shepherd away. Now we are crying "moo, moo." Our tears are flooding the streets, but the demand parade is not stopping.

Who will stop them? The police?

They are the people who started it by making their own demands. After killing hundreds of people, they are now morally weak. Many are on the run themselves. Those who are on duty do not have the courage to act. How could they? Given what they have done before, they are scared to perform their real duties now.

Students could have helped them. If needed, they could have convinced the demand-makers to return home. Many are asking: where are they? Why aren't they on the streets anymore?

How can they be? You and I, with our loud demands, sent them back. Meaning there was a demand there too. A public demand.

With so many public demands, journalists are facing family demands. Families are demanding that journalists work nine-to-five like government employees. They want evening outings.

A journalist said his wife has threatened to take to the streets with others if their demands are not met. They too will block the road and press home their demands.

Now, if we add this demand to the 900 million, which demand should be cut to keep the count accurate? One demand must be dropped. I am making a demand, which one?

But before everything, we must take to the streets and block the roads with a demand: Remove the people from the streets who are blocking our roads.

This is my demand.

Features / Top News / Humour

demands / Protests / Humour

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