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SUNDAY, JUNE 08, 2025
Why should girls only be taught to become 'suitable partners' in a marriage?

Thoughts

Shahana Huda
28 March, 2023, 01:15 pm
Last modified: 28 March, 2023, 07:38 pm

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Why should girls only be taught to become 'suitable partners' in a marriage?

Shahana Huda
28 March, 2023, 01:15 pm
Last modified: 28 March, 2023, 07:38 pm
Shahana Huda Ranjana. Sketch: TBS
Shahana Huda Ranjana. Sketch: TBS

Marriage is indubitably a significant aspect of human life but is this the whole ball of wax?

The question arises because in our society it is inconceivable for guardians to picture a girl as a self-sufficient human being.

A girl having her head held high, taking care of her parents, serving society, reading books, researching, chatting and going out with friends, and doing what she likes - is an idea difficult to accept for even the girls in our society or they are just conditioned to not think differently.

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We treat our daughters like princesses but never teach them how to run a kingdom or deal with crises. They are not taught about life struggles as we turn a blind eye to the fact that the life of a princess may not always be fun and games.

Most of the upper and lower-class families in our society raise their girl child focusing on a "good marriage". Essentially, the ingrained idea is to follow rules, live up to society's standards, be prepared to fit in and get married to become a "good wife". But this is not all. Motherhood is the ultimate objective that is prescribed to complete the life of a woman.

This inculcates a mindset among girls to grow up to settle down by getting married to a suitor and becoming a mother. Regardless of the social status of a married woman, if a woman cannot bear children, her life is considered a failure. The most pathetic part is, women also end up believing this.

Be it rural or urban, wealthy or poor, educated or illiterate, employed or homemaker - the life of a woman has been confined to motherhood only by society and family. The identity, achievements, and economic and social status of a woman become pointless in our society if she does not have a child.

In some cases, society unfairly blames the woman for infertility without a proper examination. The woman herself also considers this to be an utter failure. Such a mindset results from the deeply ingrained insecurity of her husband taking a second wife and having no one to look after her in her old age. This leads to going to any length to become a mother while ignoring every other aspect of her well-being like age, physical fitness, fatigue, medical benefits etc.

Again, marriage is a momentous part of human life, however, this is not the end. Therefore, a girl should be nurtured in a way that she learns to love her life, feel her emotions to the fullest and accept herself with gratitude. Sadly, most girls are taught exactly the opposite.

The lives of humans are multidimensional, and so are their philosophies. The parameter of happiness thus fluctuates accordingly. Some find happiness in earning money, some in taking responsibility or wandering, while many relish their happiness by having a family or by not having a family. Hence, happiness doesn't necessarily have an explicit definition. Happiness is more like an individualised way of enjoying life.

What I am trying to imply is that girls should have the freedom to choose their way to happiness and the mentality of imposing the quintessential idea of happiness on them should be stopped.

A group of Penn State University researchers conducted a week-long survey on 122 working married women and found that women are actually more stressed at home than at work. And that's why they are comparatively happier at work. Although the study was conducted on women living in the western world, the result reflects on the women in our society.

I personally know two female professionals who feel more pressure on themselves at home than in the workplace.

Conversely, men say they are happier at home than at work and the claim is nothing hard to grasp. Men come home to relax and find peace while women are expected to take the helm of household chores single-handedly beside their professional responsibility.

Unfortunately, the scenario is ubiquitous in many parts of the world.

Top News

Marriage / Girls / women / Gender equality

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