The trials and triumphs of a single mother
Meet Dr Shahana (director of the Fundraising Department at Bangladesh Red Crescent Society) who raised Pathao’s youngest senior vice president as a single parent in Dhaka
Dr Shahana Zafor, currently the director of the Fundraising Department at Bangladesh Red Crescent Society (BDRCS), usually makes a good first impression. A recent rendezvous on a Friday was no different. Within a few minutes of the conversation, Shahana's leadership qualities seeped in. It was the eloquence in her speech. It was clear that she leads.
Before her appointment at the National Headquarters of BDRCS as an assistant director in 2010, Shahana worked at BDRCS' Mohammadpur blood bank for 12 years.
During this period, she not only led a 17-member team but also worked to make sure that operations ran smoothly to generate enough salary for the whole staff. Moreover, Shahana even made savings from the blood bank's revenues over time and managed to open a Fixed Deposit Receipt under the blood bank's name.
"Initially, I was confused because although I was a physician, I was working at a blood bank. Soon after my joining though, I began to love the profession," said Shahana, who completed her graduation and internship at Mymensingh Medical College in the mid-1990s.
Keep updated, follow The Business Standard's Google news channel
Beyond the professional triumphs, Shahana broke moulds in her personal life as well. She raised her son as a single parent in Dhaka — a feat beyond measure, perhaps more for a working mother in this country.
Shahana's story represents every single mother's journey of grit and perseverance that shapes the child's life, in some cases that of a successful one.
Of Dhaka and a single working mother
In 2004, Shahana's marriage officially came to an end. Her son, Ahmed Fahad, was only six years old. But problems emerged much earlier.
Shahana had the option to join Holy Family Hospital as a physician when she completed her medical internship in 1996, the same year she got married. There were inklings of objection, at first, and then a clear limitation from her in-laws. They did not want Shahana to work too far from their Mohammadpur residence.
Eventually, Shahana joined BDRC's blood bank in the area, putting her goal of becoming a gynaecologist on the back burner.
But Shahana did not compromise her dream of teaching Fahad at Dhaka's best school. Despite harsh criticism from her in-laws, she enrolled her three-year-old son to Scolastica, which was very expensive for the family. During that tough time, Shahana's mother, a former Land Ministry official, was the only person who gave her mental support.
But eventually, things didn't work out for Shahana and she decided to walk out.
"I left the in-laws' house without taking anything. I left with just my baby in my arms. Relatives tried to convince me that I would not be able to support my son's education at an expensive school for long. I didn't care," she recalled.
Headstrong, Shahana struggled to keep Fahad's academic career undisturbed.
In the 2000s, even first graders went to coaching centres. But Shahana tutored Fahad, whatever the disciplines were, at home every day from 6 pm to 10 pm when she returned from work.
Fahad never had a private tutor until his O-levels.
Unlike the parents of Fahad's friends, Shahana could not afford a luxury car for her son's ride to school. With a limited monthly salary, Shahana could not buy things for Fahad that a student in Dhaka's top schools might expect.
She had to wait for bonuses. Shahana bought a desktop computer with her bonus check and the additional funds from a loan she took from her colleague. Fahad, at the time, was a first-grader.
"It was quite early for a child to have a desktop computer. But I believe that it was one of the good decisions taken by Ammu. I learnt coding during my childhood. It was actually the beginning of my career I am holding now," said Fahad.
At the same time, Shahana managed to help her son take part in various extracurricular activities, ranging from Karate to French lessons, and even arts and music. One thing Shahana consistently maintained was Fahad's participation in the cricket academy, where he went for six straight years.
"I remember, over the years, she really struggled to manage the fees for these activities. But Ammu never stopped supporting me," Fahad reminisced, adding, "She wanted me to be a holistic individual and remain busy with extracurricular activities."
And he believes his mother has achieved her goal. A 25-year-old Fahad, the youngest senior vice president at Pathao, is also the volunteer curator at The Global Shapers Dhaka Hub — a wing of the World Economic Forum.
Before Fahad entered the corporate world, he wanted to study at the prestigious Institute of Business Administration (IBA). But Shahana always cherished the idea that her only son would enrol at the Bangladesh University of Engineering and Technology (BUET).
Eventually, Shahana caved, primarily seeing her son's determination to get admitted to IBA by studying for approximately 15 hours a day. Despite the rigorous preparation, Fahad got nervous before the exam. Shahana vividly remembers the day she escorted Fahad to the exam hall. And more vividly, the day when the results were published.
"That particular day was my most celebrated one," Shahana recalled. The duo was venturing to Maheskhali at the time for Shahana's work trip at Cox's Bazar.
Fahad, as a child, almost regularly accompanied his mother on work projects such as when she worked the BDRCS stall at the Trade Fair. And he used to closely observe Shahana's leadership capacity. It eventually shaped and influenced his own professional ethos.
The origins
Shahana's father Professor Abu Zafor was a Bangla teacher at Jagannath University who used to advise that money is not a big achievement. "Try to achieve education," Shahana recalled him as saying.
The Zafor family earned a limited monthly income. But Abu Zafor enrolled Shahana to the comparatively expensive Viqarunnisa Noon School, despite options for some government schools where education was almost free of cost.
"I witnessed how my parents struggled to manage my educational expenses. We led a modest life. I followed a similar lifestyle while raising Fahad. But like my parents, I supported my son's education at the best institution," Shahana said.
Shahana made her life choices based on her instincts and she believes she made the right ones.
"If someone were to ask if I am satisfied with my professional choices [giving up on her career goal to become a gynaecologist in Dhaka], I would say not quite. But am I satisfied as a mother? 100%!" said a beaming Shahana.
"My professional choices let me spend as much time as I could with my son in his earlier years."
On 24 January this year, the High Court ordered that a mother's name will be sufficient when a student fills out a registration form for exams.
"It makes me so happy," said Shahana who remembers well all the times she faced challenges at her son's education institutions. Not so much as form applications since the duo always filled in the father's name, but parents-teachers meetings were particularly difficult with an absent father.
"I had to 'convince' the teachers that I am, in fact, a single mother," Shahana said.
For all the single mothers out there, Shahana has one message: be educated and financially independent. "You don't need to be a doctor or engineer, you can be an entrepreneur, or take help from NGOs to stand on your own two feet. Independence is key," she said.
