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TUESDAY, JULY 08, 2025
Artcell releases new album in a parallel universe

Humour

Rupak Khan
21 August, 2020, 10:30 am
Last modified: 23 August, 2020, 02:52 pm

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Artcell releases new album in a parallel universe

A mysterious man confirms Artcell has released a new album in an alternate version of Dhaka city.

Rupak Khan
21 August, 2020, 10:30 am
Last modified: 23 August, 2020, 02:52 pm
Artwork: Asifur Rahman
Artwork: Asifur Rahman

Galactic Joshim, a man from another version of planet Earth, has arrived in Dhaka.

Just before he was escorted to a secret facility, he dropped a bomb saying, "In my parallel universe, Artcell did release their third album."

If Joshim is to be taken seriously, his theory confirms there is a parallel universe, indeed.

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If, through some scientific malfunction, you travel to the parallel Earth, you might find the third Artcell album and the people more interesting than you think.

Let us call the parallel Earth "Earth 2."

For example, on Earth 2, you might find yourself in a concert hall- where Artcell is due to perform a solo show.

Sounds exciting, huh?

We do not get to see one band performing their set list much in Dhaka.

Concerts these days have become more about "20 bands at only 100 taka" thingy.

As you see people buying tickets for the show, you might try to jump the queue.

But a girl would stop you short saying, "Bhai, Artcell fan ra niyom mene line e daray." (Dude, stand at the end of the queue if you are an Artcell fan).

Wondering why Bengalis have become so disciplined, you go to the end of the line.

The guy next to you shocks with his explosive comment: Taka diye album na kinle shobaike guli kore mara uchit! (People should be killed if they do not pay for music!).

"Must be an extremist!" you drop a one-liner as you pay for the ticket.

However, nobody bothers about your opinion on a parallel Earth.

After minimal security checks, you enter the venue. "So many people for a paid concert, has Dhaka become as rich as Singapore or what?" you say to a girl standing next to you.

She rolls up her sleeve, spits out a bubblegum, and replies, "Beat it, weirdo."

No she did not bother to spit the gum in the waste bin.

People on Earth 2 can be whimsical, too.

To your utter surprise, the organisers have managed to kick-off the show on time without any "technical difficulty" whatsoever.

Artcell took to the stage and started with "'Rahur Grash," one of their best tracks.

The concert goes on for the next three hours.

The band also performed songs from their third album-which sold out on the first day of its release.

"We have already received our due royalty from an MNC, our record label, and streaming sites," the band members announce during a drinks break.

But something strange would cross your mind. "This is impossible!" you cry out loud as the crowd goes ecstatic.

"What is wrong, son?" a man with a grumpy face asks you. "Why do no't they sing 'Aniket Prantor' in the middle of other songs they have no clue about?" you say to the grumpy man.

"Oh I see! There are so many good songs by this band that we do not just come to see them live for 'Aniket Prantor'. Ever heard of 'Pathor Bagan', 'Shahid Sarani' or 'Apsari'? These are the songs people sing-along in live shows," grumpy face explains.

The show comes to an end with the closing track "Chile Kothar Shepai".

People seem genuinely happy as they leave the venue.

"I was thinking of covering an Artcell song with a ukulele, what do you think mate?" as you ask the most unnecessary question in the history of Artcell fandom, the buff guy next to you might slap you hard.

"We do not cover songs and upload them on social media on Earth 2," he replies.

"So you know about Earth 1?," your curious tongue slips out.

"Yeah, why not? We know you guys are into free music and gigs," says the guy in a battle jacket.

"You guys do not deserve the third album, so go back to your world, jerk."

As you teleport back to Earth 1, a breaking news shakes your mind to its core. "Galactic Joshim reveals his true name"- reads the front-page story.

As you read on, his true name almost makes you faint.

Joshim is actually Jonas, a German man with a mysterious past.

It is yet to be confirmed if his exploits became the plot of a TV show or not.

Artcell / New album

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